Both parents, both father and mother, of course love their baby. Parents' love for their children is a natural matter (instinct) that God has planted in their hearts. Allah Ta'ala said,
وَأَلْقَيْتُ عَلَيْكَ مَحَبَّةً مِنِّي
"And I have bestowed on you the love that comes from Me." (QS. Thaha [20]: 39)
The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said,
إِنِّى قَدْ رُزِقْتُ حُبَّهَا
"Indeed I have been given the gift of love (Khadijah)." (Narrated by Muslim no. 2435)
In essence, love is merely a gift from Allah Ta'ala. Regarding parents' love for their children, sometimes parents love one of their children more than any other child. Basically, this kind of love is not why, because love is a natural, natural, solely a gift from Allah Ta'ala. However, this love should not cause tyranny to other children, or reduce their rights.
A natural thing if we love people who are righteous than those who don't. Children who are obedient, diligent in prayer, fasting sunnah and filial piety, are certainly more loved by their parents. Both parents still should not be excessive in expressing or showing their love for the obedient child. However, sometimes it is permissible to make obedience or the advantages of one child to motivate the other child. For example, by saying, "This Fulan is better than you because he is obedient, diligently praying and fasting." Or other words like that. Again, not in order to compare children, but rather to motivate them.
Look, the Prophet Ya'qub aih alaihis greetings, his love for the Prophet Yusuf aih alaihis salam. Allah Ta'ala said,
لقد كان في يوسف وإخوته آيات للسائلين; إذ قالوا ليوسف وأخوه أحب إلى أبينا منا ونحن عصبة إن أبانا لفي ضلال مبين
"Indeed, there are some signs of God's authority on (the story of) Joseph and his brothers for those who ask. (That is) when they say, "Indeed Joseph and his siblings (Bunyamin - Jalalain's Interpretation) are more loved by our father than ourselves, even though we (this) are one group (many, -pen.). Indeed, our father is in a real error. "(Surah Yusuf [12]: 7-8)
Indeed, the love of Prophet Ya'qub to Yusuf aih alaihimas salam is pure love, there is no element of tyranny to other children. However, such love alone can give birth to feelings of annoyance in the other chests of his children.
Likewise, the excessive attention of parents to one of their children will make the other child's feelings sad, upset, resentful, and even give birth to hostility which leads to the desire to harm children who "look more loved" by their parents.
Look at the actions of his brothers Prophet Yusuf aih alaihis salam to him. Allah Ta'ala said,
اُقْتُلُوْا يُوْسُفَ أَوِ اطْرَحُوْهُ أَرْضًا يَخْلُ لَكُمْ وَجْهُ أَبِيْكُمْ وَتَكُوْنُوْا مِنْ بَعْدِهِ قَوْمًا صَالِحِيْنَ
"Kill Joseph or throw him into an (unknown) area so that your father's attention will be spilled on you only, and after that you should be good people." (Surah Yusuf [12]: 9)
Behold, their words against his father in the previous verse, how did they menyifati his father with heresy.
See also what was on their minds when they saw how his father treated Prophet Yusuf aih alaihis salam. Look at how this can give birth to their minds to commit an evil conspiracy to kill their own brother, namely Prophet Yusuf aih alaihis salam. This kind of attitude arose because they saw the father's love for one of his children. In fact, the love of Prophet Ya'qub towards Prophet Yusuf aih alaihimas salam is pure love, love that does not contain elements of wrongdoing and reduction of rights to other children. His love for this is the love that Allah Ta'ala bestowed on his heart, a sincere love for the child with him signs of glory and transcendence.
We can see why they intend to carry out a plan to assassinate the Prophet Yusuf aih alaihis salam. All they want is for their father to just love them and turn away from the Prophet Yusuf aih alaihis salam.
So how else, if the love for one child is clearly expressed and accompanied by tyranny and the reduction of the rights of the other child? Of course this will cause more sadness, hatred, and hostility among our children. In fact, it will cause hatred and hostility between children and their parents.
In conclusion, a little excessive love for one child is basically not forbidden. Because, love is purely the gift of Allah Ta'ala and beyond the power of parents. However, both parents should try as much as possible not to reveal it so that something undesirable happens between their children. Moreover, if it causes injustice and the reduction of other children's rights. Wallahu Ta’ala a’lam.
